Romantic Communication Analyst Pillows

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

Awkward First Dates

'At last, the newly discovered films of Woody Alien.'

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

Relationships.

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

"I've had you appraised."

"Oh darling! I just got your wonderful value added proposition! Of course I'll marry you!"

'Are you going to answer my text message or not?'

"She's got money and he's a 'poet'."

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

"I miss the way it was when I thought you knew everything."

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

'First date with a logician - These venn Diagrams will save us a lot of time. We'll see where you fit in, where I fit in, and if any of it overlaps'

'And that, in a nutshell, is why men don't understand women.'

"I need a more interactive you."

"You can't let the tick birds continue to define you."

Deconstructionist girlfriend

"With Harry all options are on the table, including pointlessly looking for a job that doesn't exist for him anymore."

"Are you uncomfortable discussing this because I'm a man or because I'm your husband?"

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

"Don't even think about it."