Romantic Card Lover Pillows

Valentine cards for her, Valentine reminders for him

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Bear Costume

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

"Call me?"

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

Love is in the air...

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

Pole vaulter jumping Lover's Leap.

'Big date tonight, but I've just shed an antler: Do you have superglue?'

Salt and Pepper

A Prickly Pair

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

"It's a Wonderful Life" if it was written by scientists.

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

Boyfriend of the Month.

"It's about time."

Cowboy uses his hat for a private kiss.

The Thinker / The Kiss.

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

"You don't sniff my butt anymore."

George Clooney Machine

What a gentleman imagines while he holds a door open.

"I never let my hair down on the first date."

I want to hold your hand

I haven't been down there since last Valentine's day. I want to check on a couple who asked me to rekindle their romance. A year ago I told them that thanks to me they'd be spending more time together and less time at their offices. I said I'd make it so they'd have lots of nights at home ordering some take-out and watching a movie. They must be very happy with me. All I did was shoot an arrow of love, but apparently they think I caused some sort of pandemic to happen!