Romantic Analyst T-Shirts

'First date with a logician - These venn Diagrams will save us a lot of time. We'll see where you fit in, where I fit in, and if any of it overlaps'

Deconstructionist girlfriend

Second dates are trickier. They ask the same questions as on the first date, looking for inconsistencies.

Jung and in Love

Young Accountants in Love: 'I didn't reach the same conclusion, Phil. In fact, my preliminary figures indicate we just can't go on meeting like this!'

"After he gave me the ring, he said I have great long-term potential and a low risk factor."

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

'Wine? Okay. I really don't care what you call it; let's invite over the two sisters from the cave next door.'

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

"Surely two people as intelligent as we are can work out some method of falling in love."

'Love is a subconscious recognition of matching neuroses.'

"I gave up on finding Mr. Right and settled for Mr. Chocolate!"

'I don't know much about Art, but i can tell you all about his wife.'

"I’ll give you my answer in ... just ... one ... minute."

Critics In Love

"I hate her snoring, especially during sex."

Ed's super-romantic but he's always a police detective. He calls our love 'consensual identity theft.'

'Let's get married,Miss Jones and have 2.8 kids!'

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

"I can't see it lasting!"

"Only one Valentines card? Still could have been a lot worse!"

"... No, you're not my first husband. But, you're the first one who's ever been married to me."

"I can smell his fear of commitment."

"Sorry, but she says she's not interested. She just wants to play the field."

"Hitting me on the head with your club and dragging me by my hair back to the cave is not my idea of seduction."

'Hi, I'm Sheldon, and I want to speak to you about perception management!'