Romance Realist Gifts

'Next year could I just have the chocolates!'

"I appreciate couples therapy, but I can't stop fantasizing about group therapy."

'Call me an old-fashioned romantic but will you be co-signatory on a pre-nuptial agreement darling?'

"The computer appears to have matched you up with yourself Mr Narcissus"

"Darling, how wonderful ...a prenup!"

"You can't expect me to be dependable all the time!"

'That's Confucius. I dated him once. I wasn't impressed though, he was all talk.'

'It is better to have lost at love with a good prenuptial agreement.'

'I'm still enjoying sex at 76 - I live next door at 75!'

'Will you marry me and at the same time agree to take out divorce insurance?'

The point in every relationship, when annoying habits become intolerable...

'This is how I roll, baby.'

'Are you sure you don't want to marry me just because I'm a woman?'

Sean, this time we're really through. I'm marking all your love letters as spam.

'All the magic seems to have gone out of marriage, Harry!'

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

'I am not promiscuous... I'm like this with everyone.'

'Skippy! I TOLD you I wouldn't sleep with him!'

'This is George, my divorce lawyer from a previous marriage.'

'Mating season coming in two weeks. Don't remind me.'

'Look at the dust and dirt down here. Should've got you a vacuum instead.'

She hated herself for lying, but it was what he needed to believe.

Randy Klotz is an honest guy who would never lie to his girlfriend, but for some reason he remains single.

"Perhaps being honest about our past partners, wasn't such a good idea."

"I do love you, Jack, but I don't want to give birth to your children."

"You'll make a good first wife."

"Instead of hard to get, I wish you'd played impossible to get!"

"When you said on your profile you are 'loyal and affectionate' I expected something a little different."

"Dad, his family are objecting to our relationship. In other words his wife and kids."

If Kitschy Film Dialogues Were Really Realistic. . .

"Don't wag your tail. It shows you're desperate."

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

"We really need to have our rugs vacuumed professionally one of these days."

"You never chase me through back yards anymore."

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."