Romance Enthusiasts Gifts

"When we first met he was very romantic. I'm trying to restore him to his default settings."

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'

'How much for NO stems?'

Woman with blouse zipped up to varying degrees. Arrows read, 'single,' 'married, 'happily married.'

We don't have any vacancies for people to 'pierce the heart of a virtuous maid with the arrow of desire'...have you thought of about working in a call center?

"I'm not going to lie. This looks pretty serious."

'What do you mean, I'm not your type?'

'Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me the wonderful meal I just had.'

Valentine's Day.

'Sign here please.'

Cut out and keep your own Prince Charming.

'Shaven head, tattoos, a pot belly and a nose ring...that's what girls are looking for in a man nowadays, sorry...'

'These days,' she says, 'nothing gets a rise out of him.'

'My parents are renewing their wedding vows. . . my mom just notices that my dad had penciled in an expiration date on the marriage license.'

Butterfly Mating Thing

"We offer a complimentary turn-down service."

"Marry you? This is so sudden, I don't know what to say!"

"....And I don't believe this is really an indoor pool either!"

"Men are animals! Yes, but some make lovely pets."

"When you're only giving someone the hots, Cupid's Club O'Lust is all you need."

Enthusiasm Making love & Waging war

'Let's get married,Miss Jones and have 2.8 kids!'

'Romeo and Julietta'

"You wish we were rich? Sweetheart, why didn't you tell me that thirty years ago?"

I don't know what's happened to romance, sales of our chocolate dildos are half last years!

'Well, they are probably past the age where romance matters.'

'Apparently they didn't have family planning permission.'

'Be my Valentine?'

'Same every Friday. Here we are rushed off our feet and we close in 10 minutes!'

'I hear with marriage rates declining, he had to diversify.'

"It isn't a romantic candle-lit dinner when you've had the electricity cut off."

"And where are you off to my Bohemian pagan"

Heart is sewn back together.

Lance, do you realize that the only thing we have in common is our relationship? Not true, Gloria