Romance Aficionado T-Shirts

'I'm developing a foot fetish.'

"Yes, I know we ordered breakfast in bed, but..."

'Shall we get comfortable Dianne?'

'Yes, it was love at first sight... As soon as I saw his big, bulging wallet, I was head over heels.'

'I love you, Tommy, warts and all!'

'You are very deer to me.'

"...so you'll finish it off with a felt tip."

'Happy Valentine's Day!'

'Not smutty enough for me.'

'He's not getting lucky tonight. He smells too good.'

'Of course you're my first - Why do you men always ask that question?'

"No, I didn't get a Valentine Card: In our society, they're strictly reserved for the Queen..."

"Oh Darling, you're spoiling me! I've never tried tropical fish!"

"I've been married a long time. I come here to finish my own sentences."

"Jason and I are going steady. I'm wearing his bell."

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

"Forget about the non-pedigree bit! He turned up on a first date with a sketchbook and drew a portrait of you?! Bestie, he's a keeper alright!"

"My wife couldn't make it today. What are you doing later?"

'Giv'us a kiss!'

Mantis Love

'So what do you do when you're not reaping?'

I can't bear to be without you.

'I even love the way you snore!'

'I love you and my hair loves you.'

'Wow, 600 lbs of dark chocolate signals that you won't mind my inevitable obesity.'

Carbon Dating

Cyrano de Bergerac played by a swordfish.

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

Online Dating For Dummies

"The morning light, the perfect framing of your body in the doorway—dear husband, I'm spellbound."

"Old?" she laughed. "I don't think of you as old."

"Whew."

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

I only have eyes for you

"Call me?"