Roman Mythology Enthusiast Gifts

'These vestals, are they 'extra' virgin?'

Shepherd and eurydice

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

Couple looking at the statue of Eros by moonlight.

"Hmm...well...It'll look better when it's finished...!"

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

Bacchus.

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

Venus

Vlad the Impala

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

'Where was the TSA?'

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Lady of the bath...

Here be dragons.

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

Warrior Woman

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

"He conquered the known world - now all he's got is sudoku."

Archimedes helps Sisyphus

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'...this is Loch Lomand!'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

Neptune

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."