Role-playing Chief Pillows

'Let's play school. I'll be the principal and you be the teacher, or you be the principal and I'll be the superintendent.'

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

Billy. The Kid.

"He likes it."

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

Little Princess.

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

Little doctor.

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

"What part of 'giddyup' don't you understand?"

"Excuse me a moment, whilst I just change hats."

Businessman wearing many hats.

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'