Roasting Aficionado T-Shirts

A marshmallow? Oh, no, thank you, I'm good.

"Meet The Author"

Domestic Goddess.

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

"That's it. We’re toast."

"I've just barbecued my head again."

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

The Loch Ness Rowing Team

"You're worried about salmonella? We're vultures for cripes sake!"

Filet minion

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

Prosecco

'The TZ90C with triple boosted propane burners and a titanium mesh grill with carbon fibre casings is the only way to guarantee that genuine back to nature outdoor flavour.'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"Here's to East, West, South and Bridgehampton, and all the little Hamptons in between."

'Yes, I do a lot of rowing. How could you tell?'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

Wrong leadership.

"Your appendix is fine. It's your glossary I'm worried about."

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

'How would you like your toast?'

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"Hickory smoke—that's what gives it that hearty Western flavor."

'I started as an office boy and growled my way to the top.'