Road Safety Consultant T-Shirts

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Please Drove Carefully.

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

'Are we nearly there yet?'

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Touring Cyclist

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

'Your Grounded!'

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)

Computer Controlled Car

Bedroom Traffic Control

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

One Way - Yield

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

"Being a crossing guard for a squirrel is exhausting!"

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

Last Road Rage Therapist for 500 Miles

Attention: Speed Troughs

'I know a lot of you have been sharing your opinions regarding health care and I just wanted to remind you, stay out of the road!'

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

Lane restricted to cars with three or more persons at least one of whom is a woman or visible minority.

'Mom's always telling me to look both ways, don't talk to strangers, and change my passwords.'

Gas Pedal Sticking?

Deer crossing the road on a Skidoo.

Vehicles waiting at a crossing for a tradesman's spirit level to pass.

"Just one last crossing to make..."

'You kids get out of this park right now and go play in traffic!!!'

Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...

'I'll be the designated driver - you be the designated texter.'

'I always wanted two lips!' Why the chicken crossed the road.

A Deer Traffic Warden.