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Confusing Traffic Sign.

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

'... Because it's the law! That's why!'

"I'd like to give you a break, but we did have you doing a hundred and eighty-six thousand miles a second on the radar."

Lane restricted to cars with three or more persons at least one of whom is a woman or visible minority.

At last he had found the Regulatory Guidelines.

Turning with mathematical precision.

"GPS wants me to stay put."

"Lollipop man, dear.. what lollipop man?"

"Hurry up please! I think i'm parked in a no-parking zone!"

Tomorrow would be a lucrative day foe the Indianapolis Police Department.

"You're very courteous for a hog"

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

'So how do you like the new job?' - 'Not bad, better than walking the streets.'

'That does it... Now I'm definitely going to become a lawyer.'

No Parking.

'No, Mr. Flanagan,I didn't pull you over to harass you for being a biker...'

'Oh, that place...? we shut that down AGES ago!'

Section 21, Paragraph B: When two or more vehicles come to a stop simultaneously, the most expansive vehicle enjoys the right of way.

'Passing your driver's license test doesn't mean you get to pass everything.'

'But every time I leave a five car space in front of me, six cars cut in.'

"I'll let you off with a warning this time , Sir"

"Adopt A Highway" Program. Sign up here. We'd like to adopt the road to fame and fortune!

Being a stickler for rules, Howard refuses to act until his motion has been seconded.

'I wasn't speeding, but I did pass two cars who were.'

Motorway. "My god hasn't she grown."

"We adopted a highway, but it's just not the same thing."

Redacted Street Signs

'Excuse me, sirs, I think the penalty is enforced from the succeeding spot.'

Traffic accident at the driving school.

'Can you hang on a sec - I'm on the phone.'