Road Rascal Gifts

No child onboard. Don't drive carefully.

'You kids get out of this park right now and go play in traffic!!!'

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

"I don't care if you saw this in a western..."

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

"I'm turning into my mother, and it's awesome!"

Is this what they call inherent safety?

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

'Barry I think it's time you had your eyes checked!'

'How do people without a middle name know when the're in trouble?'

'A listener from Ridgeway asks, 'When visiting a friend, is it improper to drink out of the toilet unless asked first?' Good question...'

'Break a leg.' - 'Thanks a lot.'

Driverless Car

'Ruddy european labelling legislation'

"Isn't 85 the new 55?"

Bike Lane

Congestion Eases Inexplicably

Ram Raiders deterred due to wet paint.

'Hey! Who left the television off?'

Man: 'Oh for HEAVEN'S sake Zachary! WHAT have I told you about RUNNING THROUGH the house?!

"Ma'am, are you aware of how many braggy, preachy bumper stickers you've got plastered on the back of your car?"

'I'm getting pretty tired of all these potholes.'

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

'I'm afraid your 'giggle-pin's' gone on your 'laugh-shaft'!'

Angry driver

Evolution of the PED X-Ing sign.

"Gloves off at the table please!" "They're not gloves, they're dirt!"

Speed camera: 'Police fund-raiser, please increase your speed now.'

The Tour de Pants.

Boy throwing mud over a coachman's heels

The Fourteen Yard Dash

'Speed Limit 65' 'Age Limit 85'.

'Melvin, you have so much lead in your pants you don't need an apron....

Weather forecasters tell lies!