River Royalty Gifts

There are more things to life than fishing...but I ingore them.

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'You lifted your head.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'You can just forget about the cake.'

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

King George I

'How about a game of cards?'

'The Burrito King.'

"She wishes to range free!"

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

Czarcasm

TV jester.

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

'Greenwich in the Season'

Princess Anne

A king and his paperwork.