Golf Royalty Gifts

Tiger Woods

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'You can just forget about the cake.'

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

King George I

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"She wishes to range free!"

'The Burrito King.'

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

Czarcasm

TV jester.

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

Princess Anne

'The King of what?'

A king and his paperwork.

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

"No, wait a minute. I'm King. You're Rex."