Real Estate Royalty Gifts

Did you have to build so close to the property line?

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

Hollywood Sign Developers

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'You can just forget about the cake.'

"So, what did you do at charter school today?"

Sales chart is buildings in background.

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'We earn extra money by renting out your office at night.'