Rivalry Wrangler Pillows

"It's been such a dog-eat-dog week at the office that tomorrow is Bring Your Veterinarian To Work day."

"Destroying all your enemies is only half the battle. Or...wait, I guess it's actually the whole thing."

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

'Lion Tamer experience hey? Well, I have a project currently needing your management skills...'

She - Interpreter - He.

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

High Riders of the Old West

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

"As a rookie, I'm finding one of the hardest things to get used to is older people calling me 'sir.'"

"Dammit Harold, you know I hate that mask!"

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

Sulk Shows

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

How Many It Takes

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

'OK...now what?'

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

Others' perceptions (which aren't always true)

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

'A willingness to sacrifice yourself to bring 'peace and succor to the suffering' is all very well Mother Theresa but I don't think it makes up for your lack of knowledge of current hand sanitisation protocols.'

'Did you want me, boss?'

'It's always about you isn't it, George? Wouldn't you like to hear about the terrible day I've had for a change?'

'Whenever he feels under attack, he calls for backup.'

Diplomacy

"My seven-year-old is a prince, but my forty-seven-year-old is a pain in the ass."

"So your agent doesn't like your lawyer, and your PlR. people don't like your manager. They all like you."

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

'Can I see your license,please?'

'Hi this is Brussels - we're going to need to order some more red tape.'