Rival Watcher Mugs

"It looks like our nosy competitor is spying on us again."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'You can just forget about the cake.'

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

British Prime Minister

A king and his paperwork.

Tic-tac-toe

"Possible exception to Prince William's proposed halt on space travel." proposed halt on space travel."

Graffiti on guard's horse

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

"I learned about the despotism at the same time you did."

'A candle for it? Not blummin' likely - I'm a republican!'

Next Wave Collegiate Sports

'Every TV show seems to have a lucrative phone-in competition these days.'

"I guess there ain't room in this town for two bonsai specialists."

"Just being proactive."

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

'I warned him about watching the game at the opposition's pub.'

'Well, SOMEBODY leaked the frog incident to the press!'

"This is the first time you've ever planned a moat, I'm guessing?"

Fight on the top

"You say that I love the Liverpool football team more than I love you?...."

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

"And how long till they start saying the 'Great' after my name."

"I'm sorry your team lost - perhaps you should have rooted for the other team."

'Son, isn't it about time you went out and conquered a country of your own?'

'Well, you knew the peace process was going to be dangerous.'

Royal wedding cake, complete with paparazzi figures

'They're all hoping Kate Middleton will help them to cross the road.'

'The rivalry at the pony club is getting out of hand.'

Royal Variety