Rites Of Passage Reflector T-Shirts

All Metamorphosed And No Place To Go.

Pete Townshend Vineyards

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"Today, son, you are a man."

'Before I undertake my journey, I require you to make me a warrior's headband.'

'Son, it's time we had a little talk about the Byrds and the Beatles.'

"Son, you're old enough now to learn about something we call 'compliance'...."

'I think we're losing sight of our roots.'

Beer Van and Ice Cream Van

'Son, you're old enough now to know, there's no such thing as Christmas.'

'Son, isn't it about time you went out and conquered a country of your own?'

"Who knew a lifeless box could spread such fear? It came from the mailbox."

He was a great dodgeball player. Who's in heaven now. He will be missed.

"Now in the second law of thermodynamics..."

"I keep climbing this water spout. The rain washes me out. Then out comes the sun and dries up the rain. So what do I do? I climb right back up again. Talk about a rut."

"If I could take back ninety per cent of the things I say, then I think people would know the real me."

"Well, Josh, it's time you learnt about the birds and the bees..."

"If I've got no messages how do I know I even EXIST!"

"I know all about the birds and bees, but what's all this about 'erectile dysfunction?'"

"Maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for you."

Sinner/Devout.

"Okay. You have two choices. Jump - and discover the joy of flight. . ."

"Uh Oh! Looks like you're being un-friended."

"Well, if not now, can I have a man cave after I reach puberty?"

"Dad, tell me about the birds and the bees and safeguards."

'This babbling brook reminds me I should probably call my wife.'

"You don't need to tell me about the birds and the bees. I just Googled it."

"Mom, how many more years until I reach that awkward age?"

"He's growing up too fast. Instead of hearing a fairytale, he wants to know about rights in the workplace."

"Those are the facts of life as you see them? That there are no superheroes, Santa Claus isn't real, there is no Giant Bunny who delivers Easter eggs, and the government lies to us?"

'Here's your chance to shine, son. Make me proud.'

'Yeah, getting older stinks. Pretty soon we'll lose that cuteness factor.'

Shortly after attaining enlightenment, Hank reincarnates as a stone.