Risk-taking Troubadour Gifts

Meet Zelda Wisteria, author of the book 'Leap, and the Net will Appear!'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

"But don't let my wacky tie fool you. We actually take business very seriously around here."

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

Look At Me I'm Still Wearing Shorts.

"Gift"

"So what if people do laugh? The world can use a little more laughter, can't it?"

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

Man is successfully leaping over chasm.

"Well, so much for my lucky hat! I've worn it to five interviews and not ONE callback!"

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

"And they say it's the safest 500-P/E stock out there."

"I designed it with you particularly in mind, Mrs. Dillman!"

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Sale on Three Piece Suits, $10, 300 Polyester.

"The Oaths of the Venture Capitalists."

"This is Josh, our summer intern."

Crime rates drop 40% after prison uniforms are changed to neon pink floral patterns.

'I've taken my knowledge of science and math and applied them to fashion to produce a wardrobe that's guaranteed to malfunction to get you the most possible publicity.'

"This one is really gonna blow their minds."

"Woke up this morning, forgot my apple id..."

Dion hires an image consultant: Ineresting. Now let's try Western and then Hip-Hop.

"Mmm my, there is just something about a man in footie pajamas."

'No, it's not one of those fake arrows. I had my head pierced.'

"You don't find a style. A style finds you."

City & Western.

'It's a parasol - they don't know whether it will be rain or shine!'

'I don't mind you buying the camouflage suit at the mall, but did you have to wear it home.?

Tattoo Parlour: A Bishop gets a 'Go the Demons' tat.

Devil-may-care loans.

"This jury finds the accused not guilty provided he tells us where he has hidden the money."

Harold M.: He's Sure Taking A Lot Of Chances!