Risk Relativist T-Shirts

Handy chart

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

"I know it's a big risk, Fred, but don't lose sight of its strongest selling point: You're taking it, not me!"

"My name's Edwin, and I'm addicted to risk."

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

Yomp Investments - Big risks sometimes means BIG BUCKS!: 'I'm a little uneasy about the 'sometimes'...'

Fish talking in a bar - one has a heap of hooks hanging out of his head 'And you must be the one who got away?'

"You asked to see me, boss?" "Yes, Rudy. We have a serious problem here." "I'm going to need you to stop humming the 'Star Wars' theme 24/7." "Disney is notoriously litigious. If they catch wind that you're publicly performing the theme, they may sue the cafe for royalties." "Daaaa... daaaa... duh-duh-duh daaaaaaa... daaaa... duh-duh-duh... wait, what?" "If you cost me my livelihood, I'll do to you what Han did to that Tauntaun."

'What's your tolerance for risk?'

We have control of you brain.

"I'm a little uneasy about the 'sometimes'."

"Phew! I narrowly avoided a near miss!"

'With these crazy markets, you have to diversify to protect your money. Put some under your mattress, some in your sock drawer, maybe some in a hole in the yard...'

"After thoroughly researching all the details, I think we can now safely throw caution to the wind..."

"In the event of a water landing, your seat cushions may be used as flotation devices. And, your tray tables may be used to bash sharks."

NYSE. Many will enter, few will win.

'My accounts aren't insured, but it's the risk I take for higher interest rates.'

'I'm screwed...'

'Should I buy or sell?'

Investments: thrill-seekers welcome.

'When they say EVERY possible risk needs a sign I don't think they meant you!'

Cluster Catastrophe

'We want someone who's willing to take risks.'

A businessman balancing on a unicycle that has a coin as a wheel, on the line of a graph of falling financial performance.

'Well I think we've nearly broken the back of this 'risk assessment..'

'Great. Now that I've got a better idea of your tolerance for risk, I have a few investments to recommend.'

"Fortunately, we're in the market for the thrills, not the money - right, Mr. Franjola?"

"Hold on. To avoid getting sued, I'll have to run it by legal."

'Just lend me a little bit more. I feel lucky.'

"I did a risk assessment of the dangers of not doing a risk assessment, and decided it wasn't worth it."

'Procter and Gamble? I dunno, sounds risky - what if everyone stops using toilet paper?'

"I didn't smoke, drank in moderation, exercised, ate kale, and yet, here I am."

'Are you certain that you want to go in there?'

Falling Mountain Climber.

"Remember - every new idea requires a leap in the dark."