Ringing Ears Sympathizer Gifts

I know it sounds crazy, but whenever I'm hungry, I get a ringing in my ears. Pavlov's Dog" The Later Years.

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

'We'd like to show you our appreciation of your many years of dedicated service to this company...But first we need to know what your name is and what it is you do around here!'

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

"Let me take that for you."

'Cheer up...'

"They think it's easy being the bleedin' bluebird of happiness!"

'I wanted to hear the pita pata of tiny feet so he bought me a hamster.'

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

Sling

Dog dreams of sleeping in masters chair.

Know Your Level

"No the you shop noise doesn't bother me. This protects me from the incessant Christmas music."

"Who the hell keeps doing that?"

'Good old fashioned turkey shoot.'

"Mr. Van Gogh's mother let him cut off his whole ear, and you won't even let me get mine pierced."

'Buster was in a little accident, but he'll be good as new in 6 weeks.'

"If any of you guys out there have lost your jobs, need some help and are struggling to cope, call me. I can't do anything, but it makes me feel better about my own shitty life."

"I taught him to shake hands, and now he's running for congress!"

"The champagne aisle always makes me cry. Just look at all this imprisoned happiness!"

'There was a petition to kick me out of the colony at night because I snore...'

Don't tell me you're ok! You're not ok! I can smell the hurt inside you! Don't walk away! Talk to me! Beware of Emotional Support Dog.

Soccer wins more attention than baseball in Cuba

Man to complaints clerk: 'My dog just died and I think my wife's cheating on me.'

Sorry to hear about your accident.

Cat Attitude

"I know . . . your job's a pressure cooker. So will tonight be natural or quick release?"

'Don't worry Vicar. He's only looking at you like that because you're eating off his plate...'

"I've got a punture in the back wheel." "Just raise the saddle up."

'Stop Fred, don't taunt this one: He's a guide dog...'

"Go ahead, I'm listening."

Innocent Civilians

'What a tactless, insensitive thing to say!'