Ring Performer Gifts

"Of course we should have women boxers in Britain...I mean, where else can they do panto?!"

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Pirate

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

Tina Turner

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

Magic Tricks

'We would like to buy three rings... Engagement, wedding and teething!'

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

Midsummer Night's Dream

Music Hall Dancers

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

Fellow Sheep of the Ring

"It was her mothers"

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

'And the Dance Scholarship goes to...'

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

'I'm sure I could lie on my back waving my feet in the air if I could play the saxophone.'

'Verily, we wuz robbed!'

Tenors