Ring Performer Gifts

"Of course we should have women boxers in Britain...I mean, where else can they do panto?!"

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Pirate

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

Karataoke

Freddie Mercury

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

Do you have to play air guitar every time we sing?

Tina Turner

Jeff Beck.

'Or you can rent by the week...'

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'We would like to buy three rings... Engagement, wedding and teething!'

Magic Tricks

Midsummer Night's Dream

Music Hall Dancers

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

"It was her mothers"

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'

'I'm sure I could lie on my back waving my feet in the air if I could play the saxophone.'

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

Fellow Sheep of the Ring

Robbie Williams

'And the Dance Scholarship goes to...'

I just trained with my two sparring partners over there. A "boxed set"!

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

Music