Right-wing Pundit Fan Pillows

You Are Here - Uncle Sam's Exit Strategy

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

'Actually, nowadays it's considered offensive to call an answer 'wrong'.'

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

"I'm after the history section."

Vote Progressive: 'It's not the rich, it's people trying to get rich who create new jobs!'

"It's a baby. Federal regulations prohibit our mentioning its race, age, or gender."

'Your honour, we find the defendent 'politically incorrect'.'

News remote

Non discrimination to Vampires

He wouldn't be calling the kettle that again.

"Why 'Black Death'? Why not 'rodent-related'?"

Voice of the GOP

How are my Lies, Distortions, Mud-Slinging? 1-800 Politics.

"Remember, we're an enlightened group. We victimize everyone. No hate crimes for us."

Trump

'I'm sorry Sir, no menus...there is concern that choice might be mistaken for discrimination.'

'To avoid lawsuits, tonight's news will not name names.'

'We are no longer called criminals! We're called 'Legally Disadvantaged'.'

'He prefers smoking cash to injecting it.'

Freddy Mac and Fannie Mae.

"We may go vegan in the cafeteria."

"Great stuff, but here's an idea: what if it's an old white man?"

"From now on it will be God, the Holy Non binary, God the Holy Cisgender and God the..."

"Hillary Clinton feels that sinners stigmatises people, so from now on, we're to call you service users."

"Have you ever met an Inuk, Sadie?"

"I don't like the term 'Stone Age'. I prefer 'Prequel'."

The Perfect Holiday Card