Riding School Comedian T-Shirts

And balance with practice.

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

Bicycle sat nav.

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

Every class has one. . .

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

"A laser blaster turns pesky little boys into ferns! Now that would be a cool school supply."

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

Welcome to algebra. As freshmen, you are the unknown variable X. After 32 years, I ask myself Y?

Mice taking lessons.

'By the second week of instruction all first-graders should be able to count to one.'