Riding School Comedian T-Shirts

And balance with practice.

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

Bicycle sat nav.

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

Every class has one. . .

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

"A laser blaster turns pesky little boys into ferns! Now that would be a cool school supply."

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

Spring has arrived, the flowers they bloom. The birds start to sing a happier tune. Everything's great! I'm reborn and free! THUNK! Except from winter's potholes swallowing me.

Welcome to algebra. As freshmen, you are the unknown variable X. After 32 years, I ask myself Y?

'By the second week of instruction all first-graders should be able to count to one.'