Rice Cooker Maestro T-Shirts

"Ken Kesey left us the recipe in his will."

Jack of all trades

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Non-Drip ?

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"I'd like to toast our guests."

'What'll it be?'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

Onion Tears

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

Computer Music

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

Pollsters

"Oh -- I've got one! If you could have dinner with anyone from history, living or dead, who would you have cater it?"

'The chef says sorry but he doesn't do rare.'

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

Lawrence of Suburbia

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

'. . . the Winter of Discontent Soup, Arab Spring Roll, Summer Madness Salad and The Season of Mellow Mists Fruit Medley.'

"Our love is magical. In other words, a grand illusion."

Mr. Pinch and Ruth unconscious of a visitor

"I don't like it."

'Wow- you're one helluva great cook! Even the stuff you ordered from the delivery store is burned!'

"Yes, you could have cooked it, but you didn't."

"Honest, Dad, somethin's wrong with the lawnmower." "You look fine to me. When you finish the lawn and pullin weeds feel free to wash the car and paint the house."

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'