Rhyme Perfectionist T-Shirts

'Wait, we'll have to try it somewhere else. 'Ledge' doesn't rhyme with 'fall.'' Another childhood reenactment hits a snag.

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

Punctuation Police

Someone who knows apostrophes

'The Questioner'

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

Dating an English Major

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

Ironing Punctuation

Job Interview Gone Bad.

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

I have taken over Sarahs body!

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

'I hope you made the prospect say no three times before you gave up.'

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

How a poet works

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

'Sorry I'm late - I was stacked up at the airport.'

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."