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"Hop? Jig? Dance? You're a dancer? Sounds like? Prancer? Cancer? Cancer! I got cancer!"

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

'We'd like to ask you a few questions, regarding your activities in the counting house.'

Bad Rhymes

How a poet works

Shakespeare or Bacon or maybe Marlowe.

'Nothing rhymes with orange!' 'No it doesn't!'

'Major poets' 'Minor poets' 'Free agents'

'Before we order, I'd like to read my poem, 'If I Were Hired'.'

Humpty Dumpty falls, medics bring egg carton.

"I'm sure you're a very talented Mr Lear...but this is quite frankly nonsense."

The Poet and Jingle Laureates' Office.

'This smaller one is ideal if you're worried about reducing your carbon footprint.'

"With their short attention spans, we've gone from epic poetry to limericks."

A shoat, a float, in a boat, in a moat.

"The steering-committee three are we. Run it by us, and we'll see."

"There was a pig in a bright pink wig. . ."

Rhyme doesn't pay.

'I really need to become a great poet while I still have time before I graduate.'

'I have to write a poem about Dad. What rhymes with plonker?'

"But I followed the recipe exactly. Honest I did. With god as my wit.... Oh, sorry.

'Nothing rhymes with politician!'

Alexander Blok

"What rhymes with 'impeachment'?"

"Great news, babe. I'm on the fall schedule."

"Little Miss Muffet sat on a... puppet? Strumpet? Trumpet? Musket, crumpet... I'm the worst children's author ever." Mother Goose struggles...

Forrest Gander

"'I sent this to you through the mail to say I hope your day is swell.' What's wrong with that?"

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs