Revenge Prankster Pillows

'No, it's not number four either, but he does look like my ex-husband. Yeah, let's go with number four.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"I said I'd give you the world, didn't I?"

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

'I could eat you.'

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

Tonite: Gala Costume Party. Got your costume for the big party? No, I'll just part my hair on the other side and go as my own reflection.

A convenient attack of swine flu...

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"

'I thought you said you wanted to spoon me!'

'Our company needs a tougher image. So from here on out we'll answer the phone with the greeting, 'what the hell do you want?!'

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

'What do you mean you can't find the key?'

Thank you for not making faces during teleconferences with the boss.

'Looks like someone got their bags mixed up at daycare drop-off.'

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

Ref shows footballer green card.

"Personally, I don't think the company's CEO and CFO should be making decisions by rock- paper-scissors!"

'I think the meeting went reasonably well until he threatened to call security.'

Another reason why a high school diploma is not enough.

Driver sees man in front of church with sign: 'Fell Asleep and Wet the Pew': 'Huh - a church that's into public shaming.'

'Okay, this is the scene where the bear becomes a parachute.'

'See, I told you this electric fence would come in handy.'

He's just discovereed that our £450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in swindon using his mum's computer.

Avoid, Liabilities, Assets.

This looks unusual, but these things have a mind of their own.

Snowman in the Freezer.

Work stress.

'I warned: Play a sloppy game and, come Monday, there will be hell to pay during practice.'

Mime Prison

An artist waits to ambush an easel