Retroactive Oracle Prints

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

Gramophone dreams of mp3 player.

Pop Culture for Teens

Wikipedia...

"The house doesn't seem big because the kids are gone - it seems big because we've shrunk so much."

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

The Authentic Christmas.

"1971... 2015..."

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"Well, it gets lonely up here!"

Hipster Police Department

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

"Dad hasn't been the same since he went back to school."

'Can I carry your computer disks to school?'

'What're you doing, kid? You keep spoiling my surprise!'

"I'm looling for ground beef that's organic, non-GMO, and doesn't contain meat."

'Rorschach multiple-choice test'

"Prospecting ain't what it used to be."

Generational curses: 'Yeah A virus on your PC'

"It's asking for your password."

'I'll tell you one thing - if I knew I'd live this long I'd have taken better care of myself.'

'Looks like the income off of our site has went from passive to comatose.'

"Still at 19%, how about you?"

"Back in the day, I did that for a living. . ."

'What was I like 20 years ago? I was younger, thinner, better looking, sexier. . . and poorer.'

'Have you noticed how our days are getting shorter.'

"Yes, I'm on my mobile phone."

Architect reaching up at group of labeled hats, 'design' hat covered in cobwebs

Washing Day on Board a Zeppelin

...The competitors call him conservative and old-fashioned, but I call him obliged to traditions!

"Stay with me. I just want to cross-check your fortune with a quick Google search."

"Im so sorry, he's at a symposium in New Jersey."

"That was my doctor...he says I need to start an exercise program...but I've never exercise a day in my life. As a youngster, I was too busy washing my family's clothes, feeding the chickens, tending the garden..."

If you put on deodorant, then your t-shirt, you'll get white marks. They don't make watches like they used to. Freed a stray, and it keeps coming back. General Observation Deck.