Retro Gadget Guru Gifts

"This old calculator is missing the multiplication symbol."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

What's wrong with the computer you've got?"

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer

"And this is one of our most poular models..."

Early on-line shopping

'This is a letter opener, from the days before faxes and email. I just sold it online after I listed it as a vintage communication device.'

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

"It's very sweet of you to visit him. Mr. Mainframe doen't get out much since the desktops came in."

'Sorry, I can't help you, the computer's down again.'

'As you know, some of us can't keep up with the pace of new technology.'

Old Phones Lasagne

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

"I know we said we'd get you a laptop,but this will have to do until business improves."

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

Technological advances within the office.

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

The Uses of a Stethoscope

"We were looking for a non-hackable, energy efficient data center. Thanks for the file cabinet."

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

"We think your telephone is a great invention, Mr Bell, but is a bit basic. How about adding a phonograph to it?"

'We've got to upgrade our computer system. Downloading information on this one takes too long.'

'When I was told our new computer was going to be state of the art, no one mentioned it was state of the art in 1954.'

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

'I call it 'Myspace'''

'Father, when are you going to get software for our home computer that will teach me French?'

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

Old and new technologies

'Gentlemen, invent your engines.'

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"