Retro Diet Explorer T-Shirts

"You're absolutely right! Now wasn't the ideal time to inform me you've gone vegan."

'What's with the overnight bag, Orville?'

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

Tourist

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"He's teaching me map skills, such as how to fold it."

Nutritional Supplements.

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

Odd Spas

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

"Cardiac day patients?"

"Milton finally found a doctor he can trust - one who still believes in the healing power of money."

Je-Hereford's Witnesses

Roger couldn't understand why his diet wasn't working.

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

'The good news is that our latest diet products work fabulously well. The bad news is that we haven't got any customers any more!'

"Hey guys, I'm thinking about going vegetarian."

"We've gone glutton-free."

'It's time for drastic measures - I'm taking you off food and putting you on chew toys.'

I find that I can cut back on calories if I use only one chopstick.

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "What'll it mean if Trump ends up winning?" "Excellent question. It reminds me of questions very few people asked 90 years ago when Mussolini came to power in Italy." "Other questions that went unasked back then: 'Is sucking down smoke all day long bad for me?' 'Is it a bad idea to buy radioactive beauty cream?'" "'Is cocaine really the best remedy for indigestion?!'" "People sure were dumb back then."

It was time to start the lockdown diet.

'I know why Max has suddenly turned vegetarian: His new girlfriend is a Fruit-Bat...'

"My doctor suggested I get less fat in my diet."

"You know what they say: if you can remember the Sixties then talk about them endlessly on BBC Four documentaries."

'He's saying 'Enough bananas - I'm also a carnivore'.'

'It's not our wine list. It's a list of gastroenterologists.'

Fast food trap.

Louis Daguerre takes a selfie

"My veganism begins and ends with eating insects."

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

Bar None