Retirement Travel Gifts

The experienced backpacker.

"Next year, let's go someplace where the locals resent the tourists in a language we don't understand."

"Wake me up when we're landing."

Mrs Howell packs 200 changes of clothing for a 3-hour tour.

'We'd like to go to a country that doesn't have tsunamis.'

Swimmer

Mr. Lemmings takes a Vacation

Tourists

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

World Tour.

The Hall Of Mirrors Jeretski Palace, Plovdo

'That may be what the wine glossary says, but to me, terroir means a fantatic view.'

Statue is moved to hold up the leaning tower of Pisa.

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"I thought the travel agent said 40% off."

"Ticket and passport, please."

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

Tourist

Excess Baggage: Airline CEO's should be forced to work at the check-in counter explaining those hated add-on fees to passengers.

'We must have everything... this is all that's left!'

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

'The view is much better on the other side of the bus, we'll sit there on the way back.'

How Relaxing It Is To Go To The Beach. . . How Close You Live To The Beach.

"I've passed your complaints along to the captain."

All Roads Lead To Rome

'I thought I'd never say this, but I think we might've traveled too far this time!'

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

'Two for French Polynesia.'

'Looks like they were sun worshippers.'

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

S. S. All You Can Eat

"I don't know. Lately, everything looks like Jackie Kennedy to me."

"Next time, I'm flying business class."