Retirement Ruminator T-Shirts

'Your 401k doesn't look a day over 20.'

"He doesn't seem to be accepting retirement too well."

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

'It's odd...when I was CEO of Phoenix Industries everybody laughed at my jokes, but since I've been retired, nobody does.'

"In the room the women come and go. Talking of Michelangelo."

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

'Your previous work experience... surely you jest.'

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

Neptune: the retirement years.

"I think...therefore I am. I think."

"I really like smart women."

'The secret to happiness is awaiting F.D.A. approval.'

'Have you got something that says, 'I've got a headache?''

"Show-off!"

'I don't see how you were able to work for so many years. Since you've retired you can't do a thing.'

In Case of Accidents

"My psychiatrist advised me to pay taxes quarterly. That way my seething resentment is spread evenly over a year."

'Gail, my dear, please don't talk about sex - my God this is a restaurant!'

"I see you're on a date at the moment but perhaps later we could meet for a latte."

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

I was considered a part time employee since I only worked one night a year and thus wasn't eligible for the pension plan, so here I am in my golden years.

"Just like he did when he was alive the lazy sod!"

'I know I retired just last week, Mr. Hartwell, but could I have my job back? My wife fired me.'

Lunch at the Old Cowboy's Home

'I'm afraid I'm in for some dull retirement years.'

"Carl made retirement plans with his money, but not with his time."

Retirement

Retirement Presentation - ...try and get a hobby so you won't be calling back to see us.

"Are you finally going to admit that you've run out of things to do now that you're retired?"

"The salesman was right, a carpet with a darker colour will hide all manner of sins."

"At this stage of your life, you need a hobby - one that will produce income."

"To meet the government requirements, I'm passing the extra costs to the consumer and our employees."

"How are people at my reunion going to recognize me? I look in the mirror and even I don't recognize me."