Retirement Novelty Seeker Gifts

"Wally has just been hanging around the house since he retired from the circus."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'What clan do you belong to?'

Crap from the future.

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Useless add-ons.

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

Mohammad's motors

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

"You like long walks in electrical storms too? Wow! We get a charge out of the same things."

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

Clock and Watch Shop: Second-Hand Clocks and Minute-Hand Clocks.

Scrooge is visited by the ghost of prehistoric past.

BOOKS ON VIDEO/BOOKS ON TAPE/READ YOUR OWN.

Toenail clipping missile.

Goldie Locks and the three beers.

Tourist

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

Man plays the piano with two Octopus.

'It was fun to make bujt don't see any possible use for it in the future.'

His & Hers towels for Electrical Plugs and Sockets.

Happy Bifurcation Day,