Retired Military Personnel Pillows

'I think it's about time McFergle retired -- he remembers the Lusitania.'

"It's my draft notice. I need to report for duty June 4, 1965."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

Military Medals

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

'I am not doing nothing ... I am perfecting inertia.'

Trump

Monuments

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

'I was in the catering corps.'

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

'At ease, soldier.'

Red Letter Days - Encounter with the old village sweetheart - 'bless my soul! ... Miss Victoire! ...'

Thank you to those who never came home and to those who never left their side.

Totalitarian Humour

Military style hedgehog

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

'...You push the wrong button, and now, instead of our fans enjoying a fireworks display, we've got an international incident on our hands.'

'Swiss Army Rescue Service. How can we help?'