Retailer Mugs

"What wine goes best with vodka?"

Car boot sale - and car shoe sale.

Consumer Complaints.

'I don't know Joe, maybe we;re using the wrong kind of glass?'

'It's because I'm a bull, isn't it.'

You'll see, Chet; sales will pick up as soon as this whole Internet fad blows over.'

'How do I qualify for the 'Preferred Customer Discount' you're advertising?' 'Do you have a pulse?'

"Hey, I just got a burst of consumer confidence- let's go buy something."

'He says we have to change our name to the Kilo Shop.'

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

Robbing Peter to pay Paul.

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

'I'm the oldest employee in the store...I've been here from Hi-Fi to Wifi.'

Math books are a fraction of their cost

Supa Savers and Hyper Market surround Cornered Shop.

Sidewalk sign holder holding sign that says 'Save 100%! (don't buy it).

'Hello, Trading Standards...I've taken delivery of goods that may not be genuine.'

Boss: '...Let's not forget who our customers are!' (It turns out they just have one left).

Staff Picks

'Normally we just come up with some ludicrously high figure depending on how deep we think your pockets are, then we offer you a huge 'discount' to bring it down to about twice what we actually need.'

Light and Heavy bulbs for sale.

'This is our latest in coffee table designs...'

'...and this one comes with two trilobites of memory.'

A Street in the Philosophy District

Apostle shopping at 'Aeroapostle' Store.

'I might see if they're any cheaper online.'

'Today I sold my first car and I'm really proud, boss. If only I diddn't have to go home by bus...'

Paint By Number

'This clock you sold me loses fifteen minutes every hour!'

Loyalty Card

General Store: We Now Carry Items!

'You give me one third, another third to the cashier near the escalator, and the balance before leaving the store.'

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

'To be honest, I'm surprised you employed me!'

Water/Still water/Not water any more.