Retail Observer Gifts

Street signs point to Walmart in all directions.

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

"That shirt is so last year."

"Everything's gone up."

"I'm part of the problem and loving it!"

Pizza Special: 5 Pizzas for $50 (Limit 4).

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

You Know You're Old When...

Privacy Stops Where the Parking Lot Begins

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

Sign on a sale bin at a bookstore that reads "Latte-Damaged Books".

"Since I no longer trust the media. I get all my news from hysterical people on the street."

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

'Sale' 'Your money back if we feel like it'

"look at those poor suckers. A market correction doesn't mean anything to us."

"Attention, shoppers. We have a lost boomer at the information desk."

"It might be this Christmas, it might be next."

High Street Stores in the Dock.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. . . already marked down for clearance and it's not even Halloween yet."

Al's Ice Cream 31 Flavors (minus 30).

Walmart vs. Target.

"If there are more than two people in front of you - we will open another superstore."

"We now begin to notice that very few major modern writers have had big hair."

'...Proof that once there were small business on Mars!'

'Don't think of it as just another supermarket, think of it as a retail theme park.'

Boys looking at mannequins in a shop window

'I've come down for a lie down - I've been in retail therapy.'

"I've finally reached the age when the advertising people leave me alone!"

Holiday Dollar.

Man sees Grim Reaper and angrily points to a sign which reads: No Hoodies.

Spama Claus.

Directions.

"Be honest, does my sacrum look big in this?"