Retail Hero Gifts

'Sorry buddy, read the sign.'

"Your orders are burning up the system. I love it!"

Businesswoman Empowerment

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

Non-Drip ?

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

A young couple selects items from a shop.

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

"Sorry it's late. I got caught in Spring migration."

"Buying me a new pair of shoes would go a long way toward making this world a less dangerous place."

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

'The difference between the sexes...First Contact...'

SupermarketAwful Market.

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

After the Nordstrom-Nordstream Merger

Last Chance for Everything.

Early man learns that by walking upright, his hands become free to do many useful things.

'Our giant sale now on!'

Self-Checkout.

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

"Ooh look, the high street's evolved to survive!"

'Don't just stand there doing nothing! Sell yourself a suit!'

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

"Returns"

'A penny for my thoughts. Now accepting all major credit cards.'

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'