Retail Commentator Pillows

Ye Mask shoppe

'The recession is over, again.'

"Everything's gone up."

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'Stocks gyrated today on news life is full of suprises.'

"The boss is mad at me. I did something really, really dumb today!"

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

'Don't forget our 'Bargain basement', sir.'

"After seeing the benefits of web analytics, Amy hoped to learn something by attaching cookies to customers who visited her store."

"Well SOME people might see it as buying a load of useless, overpriced rubbish but I see it as a brave attempt on my part to support a flagging retail sector."

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

Seven deadly sins store

Mall Ahead - Be prepared to shop.

'One might say the market's gone from the sub-prime to the iniquitous!'

"I just discovered where the company's money is going. Since when did we start paying our employees?"

For the new gardener.

"He's a genius at product placement."

"I increase my small pension by working as an expert on selling anti-incontinence products!"

Heart vending machine.

'After nine commercials I've forgotten what film we were watching.'

"If there are more than two people in front of you - we will open another superstore."

Man in carriage waiting for shopping wife

'Anyone can sell. It's keeping it sold that's the art.'

"Instead of BOGOFS, I'm going to implement FUCOFS."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. . . already marked down for clearance and it's not even Halloween yet."

"Dear, what the name of that company I'm the CEO of again?"

"Our goal is to make prices so low that even our employees could shop here."

'Quick, Henson - seal the exits, call the police and get a pathologist in here to determine the exact time he left the payroll!'

"If you want something firmer, I suggest you try our flooring department."