Retail Comedy Appreciator Gifts

"Do you have the time? We need to be home before Christmas shopping season ends."

"This scarf's too tight. . !"

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

Fly Fishing

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

The Pink Bantha

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

Conservation Area

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"Did you just do a rooster?"

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

All-Verbal Westerns

"All stories have been told, all songs have been sung. But that won't stop us from making movie reboots."

Moulin Rouge Security

Golfer mistakes a hen's egg for his golf ball.

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

"A haand gel...!?"

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

"Play dead!" "What a long strange trip its been..."

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

"Hi,Honey - I'm Homeboy."

'Freedom is nice, but I miss the Circus for the applause and the three square meals a day...'