Resume Sorcerer Gifts

"You list as an honor, a suspended sentence, and your parole as an award?"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"I need to see your budget proposal."

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

'Needs salt!'

Computer Expert

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

If Disney was a software company

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

Artist's Equipment Comes To Life

Witch's Brew.

'I've got one week to master this program. The boss is threatening to hire an eight year old.'

'Darn! I can never remember witch one it... darn!'

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

Windows or Mac?

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

School of Wizardry and Creative Accounting.

Company profit making scheme - Jenkins, you owe us £327.95.

'Then a window popped up and asked, 'Are you sure you want to empty trash?' I shouldn't have clicked 'okeydokey.''

"We're hoping for an upturn in the 5th quarter."

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

'We've always needed an accounting magician.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

'Once the treasurer has passed out his reports, he will field some questions...'

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

"Melisa! - Your spelling is atrocious!"

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

Try typing "wishes," then hold down the "command" key.

'What? When you cross a footballer with a mythical creature? A centaur forward!'

'Don't knock it. The copy machine hasn't broken down in a month.'

"What a midfield wizard!"

"No, Barbara, this wouldn't make a great 'Seinfeld' episode!"