Resume Jokers Pillows

"I see high school, college, and business school, but I don't see obedience school."

"So, Mr Canary, I see you have experience as a mine safety specialist..."

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

Photobooth Photobomb

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

A man is selling, 'Cameron voodoo dolls', outside of job centre.

'Are you free at the moment?'

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

'Our retirement program is that you can resign whenever you want to.'

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

"I can always tell a permanent temp from a temporary temp."

"Damn tail... now he's going to ask for more money."

Just a little heads up!

"My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references."

"I only live for 24 hours, so I need a temp job that pays big bugs."

'This is one of those 'shovel ready' jobs you hear about.'

"Yes, but you're a half hour late in dog minutes."

"Sorry...I overslept."

'I haven't gotten to your story yet. I'm laughing at your resume.'

"May I ask why you have 'inspired by true events' on the top of your resume?"

'And make sure you use the AUTOMATED teller, you old goat!'

'If there are any current employees traveling with children or siblings or cousins or nephews or...'

'What about short-term? Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

"Thank you for computerising the company - you are now obsolete, Goodbye."

"On my right is Mr. Darius, who'll fill you in on our corporate counterculture."

"I have to admit, I've never seen anyone list 'cleaning out my desk' as a job skill."

'Don't be silly, Ralph...of course you're not being replaced by a computer...you're being replaced by an electric paper shredder.'

"You think I can be an assistant manager?"

'How long have you been with us now, Jeffrey?'