Restroom Runner Gifts

Closed for cleaning.

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"This stool shall pass."

"Oh, oh, it seems they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane number three."

Women in a cross country race

'My mum drives me to school. She says it isn't safe to walk with all the cars.'

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

Olympic Torch Training

'I'm not working on a case, I'm looking for something interesting to read in the john.'

'Stress'

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

I've got a new theory, Randy, and it's going to shock the world. Why? Because it's pretty much irrefutable. You know how when you're in the bathroom, it feels like five minutes have passed … but to those waiting to use it, it feels like forever? Yes … And you know how when you're at the event horizon of a black hole, five minutes to you actually is forever to the rest of the universe? ... I think we'd better alert Neil Degrasse Tyson. I call it the Time Toilation Theory.

Runner's High, Runner's Low

He won't stop talking about being the fastest ever. He's a broken record about breaking a record.

Loser's Podium.

'I was this close to the finish line and then somebody threw a stick!'

'Well, did you win or what?'

"Rudy, if you're playing a video game in there. I'm breaking this door down. Some of us have got to go."

A number of runners run through police tape.

"I do my best thinking in the shower... do I need to run 5 miles a day in order to take one?"

Congratulations for male runner

'Where toilet?.' 'Toilet lady graphic sign.'

The Tortoise and the Herring. Triathlon. I always knew that I'd pass him after the swimming portion of the race.

Alien abducts Olympic athlete.

"I don't get it. If he's no faster than me, how come he always beats me?"

'This could save us a bundle on electricity...by the way, Bob, how fast can you run?'

Cheetah in at the start of a race, thinking: 'Why do I have to keep proving myself?'

Organically Grown Athlete - Guaranteed free of chemicals.

Portrait finish.

"When it came to running, Kevin was second to none."

The pole bolt

Linford Christie

"I have bad knees."

While Desmond was by far the world's fastest marathon runner, his Achilles heel was his wimpiness.

(No caption. Astronaut on the the moon looks at an outhouse with a picture of the Earth where the crescent moon would be.)