Restroom Chuckler Pillows

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

"The subwoofers really help."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

"Do you have any idea who it is you're talking to?"

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

"It's weeder's elbow."

'The doctors said you were so nervous about the operation they had to give you a tranquiliser.'

'You want a second opinion? -- Oh, a big shot, eh?'

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

"In my day men waited till they did some damage to their kidneys before they relieved themselves."

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

'Bless you!'

Toilet door. Table for one!

'So that's 60 minutes, room 4 with Sally, and will you be taking our standard resuscitation insurance?'

-What did the carrot say to the onion? -What? -Nothing, vegetables don't talk!

'Sorry buddy, this one's taken.'

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"

'Take me to your men's room!'

"Do you mind?"

'You need an ectomy. Hop up here and we'll see what kind.'

'How do I feel? Right now I feel relieved!'

'You've got yellow fever, so we're painting the room to match your body.'

"Let's just agree that they're dolphins, not sharks. I don't want to fall out with you."