Restaurant Critique Comedy T-Shirts

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

'Waiter, I think my wife's calamari is underdone.'

'I knew we should have brought your Marigolds, dear!'

Sushi Train Spotters

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'Exactly what day is this the soup of?'

'Good evening sir, I hope you haven't been waiting long.'

'Have a little patience, Sir - We're not machines...'

All You Can Eat

'Waiter, is it raining?' ] 'Sorry, not my table.'

'Can you give me a few minutes, Waiter? I can't run on a full stomach.'

"I was going to go to the other slop trough, but the music's always too loud."

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'Instead of one of our dishes you want to eat me? Just a minute, sir.. I've go to ask the manager.'

"My compliments to whoever opened the can."

"Sorry, it’s my first day."

"We've had to update our restaurant's motto."

The PARTISAN CAFE: "For or against section?"

"This is cold. I specifically ordered the Warm and Fuzzy."

"A Mister 'Ty Gurr' wants to reserve a table next to our fattest customer."

"Yes sir, this is half a steak. The guest who had it yesterday wasn't very hungry."

"Soup of the day? Mumbo Jumbo Gumbo."

'I know I'm getting lots of complements, but the damn waiters are conspiring to not tell me!'

"I don't think the new guy is working out."

... Harold at the stomach pump.

"Good evening, folks. My name is Leonard, and I hold all the cards."

"You can have my doggie bag as a tip."

'Take no notice, I fired him ten minutes ago.'