Responsible Drinking Gifts

'This is my designated driver in case I drink some eggnog.'

Spin the Bottle.

"Don't worry, she's still alcohol aware."

I'm the Bluebird of Happy Motoring. If you must drink, don't drive!

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

Holiday Cheers and Holiday Tears

A tourist inadvertently destroying the place he is visiting

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

The drinker.

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

"Are your chickens raised without the use of growth hormones?"

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'

'But darling, he doesn't kill the cows.'

"Sure, organic free-range poultry is more expensive, but consider all the guilt you're saving."

The professor had developed a product that would change the world forever.

Man and his dog walk along concerned about what they might've forgotten to do.

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

Global warming finally hits home. . .

'Give me a whisky without ice, we should all do our bit.'

'I first became concerned when I noticed how much faster the ice was melting in my gin and tonic.'

"No, this isn't the liquor talking But I am a spokesperson for the liquor."

'All this stuff's made in sweatshops - its awful! I'm not buying clothes someone's sweated on!'

'I just hate how everyone sees everything as black or white!'

"Actually, I drink to forget what my car is doing to affect global warming."

"Somethin' here says this wine is 'su-stainable.' That means if you get any on 'ya, it won't come out!"

How’d my dang teeth get in there? Cuz you been drinkin’ out of the milk carton again.

"I don't know what it is, but I think you can sleep well knowing it's locally grown."

A Daily Prescription for Politically-Correct Conspicuous Consumers.

Don't Drink Drive.

'-and you'll see him in church the day he sees you in the Red Lion.'