Resolution Warrior Gifts

New Year Diet

"Planning a few changed for the new year?"

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

'I really crammed last night.'

"It's all a matter of planning...."

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

"...And it's a lot faster than a divorce!"

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

Thank You For Not Asking If I's enjoying My First Vacation in 20 Years.

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

"Is it a 'personal attack' if I can prove he’s an idiot?"

Their first New Year's solution was easy to fulfill: turning the foodchain.

'You haven't seem my New Years Resolutions have you?...The one where I'm committing to 2,5000 billable hours and pulling in 6 major clients.'

My New Year's resolution is to be a better person. Very noble. I want to work harder to improve the planet. What's your resolution, mom? Pretty much the same. To be a better-looking person? Hey! It's planetary cleanup. Nan's Hair and Nails.

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

My resolution this year? Getting in shape so I can lift my favorite snacks!

Good intentions last a month on average

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

New Years Reolutions

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

Great ... Thanks to your "calendar" invention, now I have to think of a New Year's resolution.

"I'm delegating my New Years Resolutions, you'll be running a marathon in July!"

"I feel like all I did in January was work out, eat healthy, strive for meaningful and balanced relationships, and improve my sleep schedule -- thank god that nightmare's over."

"We're cutting back on therapy. You?"

"Sure-fire weight loss program."

"Ah, but that wasn't a campaign promise - It was a NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!"

'The exercise hasn't been a total failure. My personal trainer lost 10 pounds.'

'Honestly you could drive a 'coach and horses' through this document, there's no definition of 'weight loss', no time frame, no sanctions.'