Research Fanatic Pillows

"This is Doctor Bagshaw, discoverer of the infinitely expanding research grant."

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

"See - it works in my fantasy research league."

'They want to close our lab. What's that all about?'

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

'Maybe we have the wrong subject for this brain mapping project.'

The end is near

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

Peer-reviewed journal publication.

'Being a brilliant,inspiring teacher is NOT adequate, Hackwell....'

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

Futuristic Teenagers.

The Soundness of Newton's Laws

'He's wearing a toupee.'

Not-so-easy listening...

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

'He thinks there's an evil robot from the future in his closet.'

'There are shortcuts to making home brew, but taking a swig of malt extract and letting it ferment in your mouth isn't one of them.'

Trumpled

"This is Matt with your five day forecast, on location."

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

Wine connoisseur in search of new vintage.(Wine)

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

A lab rat stares back at a scientist.

'Dear, when I die, what ever you do, don't donate my body to science.'

'Despite all the work that has been put into it, it's clear that the genome code is not a get-rich-quick scheme.'

"No movie deals, no endorsements, no product tie-ins..."