Rescue Storyteller T-Shirts

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

The Environmentalist

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Foster failure

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

'Have you been waiting long?'

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

Dragon Recycling the Knights it has defeated

"By God, Man! Yes!! This is the stuff we're looking for!"

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

Two 'superheros' show the discrepancy in toilet paper production.

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

If you left the window open and the light on when I was little, the room would fill with insects...

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"It's the dog."

"When I was your age I would have snagged that before it hit the ground."

A Salmon Lie

"You're overprotective. Stop telling her not to go out on a limb."

Polar Bear Paparazzi.

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

Early detection was rarely helpful.

Securing a Magnificent Salmon.

'What did you do with the apple I gave you yesterday?'

'-but the fire's on the GROUND floor!'