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"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

"For those missing years, I refer you to my book 'Lost in Tanzania.'"

'Doctor Livingston, I presume.'

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Australasia.

'I took a bottle cap to the groin during the Cola Wars.'

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

"For those missing years, I refer you to my book 'Lost in Tanzania.'"

Shepherd and eurydice

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

Edgar Allen Poe

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

'Cannonball!'

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."